Right Where We Want You
by still.fly
Summary: Sasha and Connie make it their mission to take Jean to bed with them.


It had started out as an ordinary day. One of the better ordinary days, too. Productive enough that she didn't feel terrible about herself. Lazy enough for her muscles to be relaxed. Yeah, Sasha didn't really have room to complain about anything besides the giant, hungry creatures living behind the walls. It was the prime of her life, and her husband was smoking hot and hilarious to boot. Not to mention a wild animal in the bedroom. There was food at the ready, whenever she wanted it – a perk of being a member of the Scouts. These things were all she could really ask for in a world threatened by Titans. Life was okay.

Of course, that was before she stumbled into an incredibly _hard_ body on her way to the kitchens. Her obsession with food was certainly not something that had changed with age. She even reckons that it got worse as the years went on. Which is why she wasn't really paying much attention to where she was walking or whom she was walking into. She'd been too focused drooling over what she'd find in the kitchen.

But now, with her bum firmly planted on the ground and a tall man looming over her, she was much more overwhelmed with the way that shirt hugged that torso. And those _slacks_. Heavens, they accentuated all the right things. Tight enough that she knew with just a look that this man was muscular. Loose enough that there was still a little left to her imagination. And her imagination was running rampant. Oh, mercy. She was a married woman!

Connie would understand, right?

"I don't quite remember you being this clumsy, Sash."

Sasha's eyes widened, quitting their trail up and down this man's amazingly built body. This man that she had just run into. Who's voice sounded irritatingly familiar. Deep. Deeper now than it was the last time she heard it. And it was already so creamy back then!

Hesitantly, she looked up.

His face might even be better than his body.

"Jean!"

He rolled his eyes, offering her a hand. She took it, finding it much too warm and pleasant. He drew away from her when he was sure that she could stand without falling over again.

"Aren't you supposed to have top notch instincts?" He asked, smirking.

"Ah, well. I was on my way to the kitchen, you see—"

"Ohhh," He said in an all too knowing tone, "I see. So you ogling me wasn't the only reason you were drooling then?" His smirk widened as he noticed her entire frame freeze from shock.

"I forgot how blunt you were." She muttered, not even bothering to cover up her blush.

"Gonna answer my question? Don't you have a husband at home?"

It was her turn to roll her eyes, "Just because I'm a married woman, doesn't mean I can't appreciate a well cut piece of meat." The way she described it got his blood pumping in a strange way. She would make his body sound like _food._ "But, hey. I didn't know at first you were the unlucky bastard I staggered into. Maybe then I wouldn't have ogled." She shrugged like it was nothing.

Jean laughed.

"You're kidding, right? You're doing it again right now!"

Sasha snapped her eyes away from his hips.

"Still ogling."

She forced her scrutiny to anywhere but his chest.

"Honestly." He sounded exasperated. "My eyes are up here, Sash." Jean pointed to said eyes, giving her a piercing stare. This girl may be an old friend, but she had only gotten crazier since they'd been teenagers. Not that he wasn't enjoying the attention. He just wasn't so sure how much Connie would take to this bizarre situation.

She turned her eyes away from his goddamn forearms and locked gazes with him.

Bad idea.

Amber. Sharp. Downright entrancing.

"Dear Sina," She exclaimed. Jean raised an eyebrow at that, and damn it all even that was the most attractive eyebrow raise she'd ever seen. She decided her best course of action was to just put her hand over her eyes so that she wouldn't be tempted anymore. "It was nice seeing you again, Jean." She stumbled around blindly, feeling for the wall with her free hand. Once she was sure that she wasn't going to run into anything and fall down, she took off into a sprint away from the kitchens and especially away from Jean. "Have a nice day!" She yelled down the hallway.

Jean was left blinking stupidly after her.

* * *

Connie was pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Hold up." He cut through Sasha's incessant blabbering with practiced ease, "I understand you eyeing up another man. I mean, I'm great eye candy." Sasha nodded in agreement, "But there are other guys out there with that something something that I just don't have. I understand that. We're all human. It happens. Whatever. But what I don't understand? You getting the bedroom eyes over _Jean_ of all people. I mean, do you hear how crazy that sounds?"

Sasha huffed.

"You'd understand if you saw him."

"Listen to yourself! Jean?! Seriously?! Did you even bother to ask him what he's doing 'round these parts?" Sasha shook her head. Connie sighed, "You haven't seen the man in three years and you're too focused on his damned muscles to even bother asking how he's doing?"

Sasha didn't have an answer to that. She could only let out another incensed, "You'd understand if you saw him."

* * *

Of course he didn't understand. Jean couldn't possibly be _that_ good looking. I mean, Connie trusted Sasha's taste in men. She'd fallen for this hunk of love, after all. But, Jean? Full of himself, brutally honest _Jean?_

He wasn't buying any of it.

Now he had to find the poor bastard and apologize for his wife's obsessive drooling. And see how he's doing. Last Connie heard Jean was training the cadets alongside Shadis. Could he be back for the next expedition? Connie knew that Jean must hate being permanently stationed inside the walls the way he was.

He'd asked around a bit and found out he was staying at headquarters for the time being. So Connie marched right into his room without a second thought. Just like old times. But nothing could prepare him for the sight he walked in on.

It appeared that Jean dropped something behind his desk. He was going about retrieving it in the strangest way, but, honestly, Connie wasn't complaining. It gave him the perfect view of Jean's ass. And this was an ass that you only found in the Survey Corps. Connie had only ever seen a handful of asses like it. Sina, it was perfect. And the rest of him wasn't so bad either. Actually that was a sorry understatement. He definitely understood what Sasha was going on about now.

"Daamn." He said it without thinking. It was muttered mostly to himself, but it was loud enough for Jean to here. The poor guy jumped, bashing his head into the top of the desk. He cursed and crawled back so that he could properly look back at the intruder. Connie had to force himself not to shamelessly undress the man with his eyes. But then Jean smiled at the sight of the shorter man. That smile should be illegal.

"Connie, man, it's good to see you!" He crawled back under the desk in continued retrieval of whatever the hell was dropped behind it.

"Same to you, Kirschtein." Really good. Too good. "What brings you to these parts? Returning to the Survey Corps?"

"For the time being." He was still struggling under the desk. Connie was positively entranced with the way his hips were wiggling. "Shadis can handle the cadets just fine without me. And it's not that I don't like training the kids, I just feel like I'm forgetting the reason I joined the Corps in the first place."

He sighed, backing out and standing up. There was a crumpled envelope in his fist. He placed it back on the desk and turned to Connie. Who just so happened to be drooling. The smile briefly slipped off the taller man's face as he followed Connie's gaze.

"You've got to be kidding me."

Connie met Jean's eyes sheepishly.

"You two are soul mates, fucking perfect for each other." Jean pinched the bridge of his nose. Connie is used to getting a rise out of the boy. Now that Jean was a man it was even more amusing to watch. But he could tell by the way Jean's lips were quirked just slightly upwards that he wasn't as annoyed as his tone suggested.

"Sasha told me that you'd become well endowed." Connie explained, "I didn't want to believe it, but _damn_. The only asses I've seen of this caliber are one-hundred percent off-limits."

"Off-limits?"

"Yeah. As in, they'd probably kill me if I tried." Connie, of course, was thinking of the Survey Corps' more renowned veterans.

Jean rolled his eyes and gestured to his ass, "You're not getting anywhere _near_ this. Not you, not your perverted wife—"

"I ain't scared of you, Kirschtein!"

And then an idea began to unravel quickly in Connie's conniving, perverted mind.

"I don't like the look you're giving me." Jean was legitimately frightened. Connie looked positively feral and it didn't take a genius to figure out whom his prey was.

"From what I heard, Sash became a complete train wreck just at the sight of you. Doesn't mean she's afraid either. We'll get our hands on that derrière. Drag you into this kicking and screaming if we have to." He turned around, casting a excited look over his shoulder, "You better watch out, Jean." It was a threat, but it sent peculiar shivers down Jean's shoulder blades. Connie pounced out of the door, taking the length of the hallway at a run. Jean was left gaping after him.

"Drag me into _what _exactly?"

Jean already knew the answer to that question.

* * *

Sasha squealed when Connie informed her of all the wicked ideas running through his head. Yes, Jean was attractive. Yes, she wanted the d. But she would never go behind Connie's back to get it. Ever. Even if he told her that he straight up, 100% did not mind, she'd still not pursue Jean. Not for Connie's sake, not even for hers, but for Jean's sake. Sasha knew the guy better than most would think. Even if she had Connie's permission, Jean would be eaten away by guilt. He'd probably never be able to look at Connie in the eyes ever again. Which is kind of difficult considering that being a member of the Scouting Legion required unshakable trust. This was a delightful plot twist, however. She could get behind this full heartedly.

So she sat there listening to Connie babble away about Jean's sweet ass with a stupid grin on her face. This was _Connie's_ idea. He wants this and she wants this. Now all they have to do is seduce the crap out of their fellow, well-cut soldier.

Her smile faltered.

Connie noticed and stopped his rambling, "Babe?" He asked, placing a warm hand on her shoulder, "You okay? I thought you were totally gung ho for this. I mean it'd be a shame to pass that ass up, but if you're not comfortable with a steamy threesome we can back out while it's still early." While he was worried for nothing, Sasha appreciated the sentiment, "But you should get comfortable with this, because I already threatened Jean with sexual advances and I don't want him to think we're total pansies."

Sasha rolled her eyes.

"Idiot." She shrugged his hand off, "I am so gung ho for this. Don't worry about that."

"Then why the long face?"

"I was just thinking about how we have to seduce him."

"And?"

"Shit, Connie, you didn't see me when I ran into him. I was a total mess. I mean, you of all people should know how not sexy I am when I'm trying to be."

"Aw, babe. Don't say that, you're way sexy…"

Sasha raised an accusing eyebrow.

Connie knows better to lie when she gives him that look, "…when you're not trying to be," he agreed sheepishly.

Sasha pouted, "Looks like you get all the fun."

It was Connie's turn to roll his eyes, "No. We're doing this together."

She waved a hand in the air, as if that'd push away the words he just uttered. "You really are an idiot, thinking I'd let you get some of that by yourself. No. I'm just saying that the actual seducing is like the best part. But with my lack of allure, that's gonna be your job and your job alone. Why do you have to be sexier than me?" Her bottom lip stuck out, and damn if that wasn't the cutest thing he'd even seen. He kissed her, taking that adorable lip between his teeth.

"Shut up, Sash." His voice was low all of a sudden and it sent shivers up her spine. He drew away from her lips, but lent his forehead against hers so that she was forced to look him in the eyes, "Yeah, you may not be that graceful when you're trying to be sexy. But that doesn't mean you lack charm." He smirked, "Once I actually get you to bed, you're the sexiest." He pulled back so that he could see her face.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

Sasha's answering smile was blinding. Connie's eyes flashed with desire.

"Jean is so done for."

* * *

It was dinnertime. Soldiers were scattered across the room, munching away on their rations. People tended to huddle together with those who'd been a part of the same cadet corps. This rang especially true for the 104th. It wasn't all that shocking to Jean when Connie plopped himself on his right side. What did take him by surprise was that instead of taking her seat by Connie, Sasha used her hip to push them down the row, making room for herself on Jean's other side.

Eren, Armin and Mikasa were sitting across from them. All three raised their eyebrows. Connie and Sasha were usually inseparable, which wasn't all the surprising from a married couple. Eren and Mikasa were the same way, after all. Purposefully placing Jean between them was more than enough to raise an eyebrow. Eren shrugged, figuring they just wanted to torment their friend that they hadn't seen in years. Mikasa was a little more skeptical, but she couldn't quite fit together all the pieces. Armin knew exactly what they were doing just from the wicked glint in their eyes.

The blonde hummed in amusement, and turned back to his food.

After five minutes of comfortable silence, Jean jumped so forcefully that it shook the entire table. Their plates moved a few inches, and Eren's mug fell over onto himself. He cursed, grabbing the mug and a napkin and wiping himself down furiously.

"What the hell, Jean?" He asked, fists clenched like he was ready for a fight. But Jean wasn't even paying attention to him. Mikasa's eyes flashed with understanding. Eren was still clueless, and more than perplexed that his jibe didn't result in a fist fight like it usually would.

"What the hell was that?" Jean's shout was directed at Connie, but his eyes moved back and forth between him and Sasha. Connie only cocked a suggestive eyebrow. "You're not seriously doing this right now, are you? Here? Of all places? In front of _everyone_?"

Connie shrugged, "They'd find out eventually."

"There's nothing _to_ find out, dipshit!"

"Aw, Jean. I love it when you talk dirty."

"What's going on?" Eren asked, a little put out that he wouldn't be able to let off some steam in a punching match. It was always fun to have a reason to sock Kirschtein in the face. He raised his mug back to his lips, drinking what little water was left inside.

"Connie is feeling Jean up underneath the table." Armin supplied.

Eren choked. Mikasa pounded on his back with her fist. Eren winced each time her hand made contact, but it effectively stopped his coughing. He took in Jean's blushing face and Connie's unashamed smirk with wide eyes, while his wife rubbed soothing circles on his upper back.

"Not just Connie." Jean stated, turning his attention to the woman on his left. She grinned confidently, but her cheeks were beyond red.

"It's about time you got laid." Mikasa deadpanned, her hand moving from Eren's back to his nape so that she could play with the hair there.

Jean sputtered, "I am _not_ getting laid!"

"Not _yet_." Connie muttered.

"Good God." Jean hunched forward, elbows on the table, and hands covering his red face – the look of a man who was completely screwed over. Sasha placed a hand on his knee, patting gently. Connie took the other knee in his hand, slowly trailing it upward until he was stopped by a throaty growl, "Move that hand any higher and I'll chop it off with the butter knife."

Connie obediently returned his hand to Jean's knee. But he would be lying if he said that growl didn't affect him. Now he really wanted to get this guy between him and his wife in bed. By the way Sasha was blushing she was having similar thoughts. But for now they'd have to settle with eating dinner with their palms warm on his knees. Really, it was more than they expected anyways.

Eventually there was only the three of them left in the dining hall. People had slowly begun trickling out. Armin, Eren and Mikasa lingered longer than anyone, but even they retired to their rooms before too long. Jean would have followed them, but he felt trapped. Not only by the two bodies pressed up against his sides, but also by all the people greeting him with a happy return to the Scouts. He'd barely had time to eat his dinner between all the babbling he was forced into. And it was kind of hard to talk when he had two hands on his knees, the thumbs of which were rubbing slow circles into his slacks. He knew he should have shoved the hands off him, but Sasha and Connie were relentless and the affectionate contact was too delicious to give up.

Even now he couldn't eat. He was just slumped over the table with his head tucked into his arms. That's when Sasha and Connie started talking to each other from either side of him.

"You get enough to eat Sash?"

Jean nearly had a heart attack when he felt a weight on his back, no doubt from Sasha resting her chin there so that she could look at her husband properly. But he couldn't move, not even when she wrapped her arms around his torso.

"The day that I've gotten enough to eat is the day that Titan's grow penises."

Jean snorted at that.

"What about you, Kirschtein?" Connie asked.

"It's kind of hard to eat in my current situation."

"I'll take that as a 'no' then."

"Aw should we let him eat then, Connie?"

Connie leaned over his back to plant a kiss on Sasha's lips, "Guess we should." He clapped a hand on Jean's shoulder and squeezed. He stood up, Sasha following behind him. They said their goodbyes, leaving Jean hunched over his food. When they glanced back they took note of Jean's red ears. They shared a knowing look and smiled.

* * *

The next day, during a bit of their free time, Connie and Sasha were sitting up against the walls of HQ giggling like cadets about their dinner escapades. It was a beautiful day; they couldn't possibly spend it cooped up in their room doing paperwork. No instead they sunbathed whilst pondering Jean Kirschtein's delectable ass.

"Where did you grope him to get him to jump like that?" Sasha snickered.

Connie winked.

"Wouldn't you like to know?"

"Was it an ass grab? I bet it was an ass grab. You can't shut up about his ass."

"Aren't you two shitty brats married?"

They jumped nearly out of their pants; that particular monotone voice has a nasty habit of sneaking up and scaring the crap right out of them.

"Captain Leviiii," Sasha whined, "You were at the wedding."

Levi's eyes flashed with amusement, but it was subtle. Only those who really knew the short soldier could pick up on it. No matter how he acted, or what he said, his squad held a special place in his heart. "Maybe I hallucinated that. I must have, if you two are talking about groping people's asses." He slunk over to them carefully, sitting himself down an arm's length away, "So," He said slowly, "Who's ass are we talking about?"

"Jean's." Sasha blurted.

Connie smacked her upside the head. "Don't give away our secrets so easily to Captain!"

"Please, we all saw that little fiasco at dinner last night. You're not exactly subtle about it. It's not like any of us even care. When you live in a world where any second we could become Titan shit you stop worrying about things like that. I've got to say, though. The look on Kirschtein's face was priceless, which is why I am inclined to help you out." Levi raised an eyebrow at their stunned faces.

"You're going to help us seduce Jean?"

The Captain shrugged, "I think it could be entertaining." He also failed to mention that he and the other veterans of the Survey Corps had all placed bets on this very matter. "Now that Jean is once again my subordinate, he has to do whatever I order him to. I think I'll have the three of you clear out the weeds this afternoon."

"How romantic." Sasha snarked.

"It's better than you being out here while he hides himself away in his barracks."

"You can't argue that logic." Connie said, slinging an arm around Sasha.

"But it's hot outside!" She complained.

Levi shrugged again, "Maybe he'll take his shirt off."

* * *

There was no way in hell Jean was going to take his shirt off. The heat was stifling, yes, but that didn't mean he was going to give those two another reason to ogle him. Connie had relieved himself of his shirt long ago, and Sasha had hiked hers up so that her midriff was free. Jean forced himself to focus on the weeds that needed pulling so that he wouldn't take a peek. He didn't want them to have that satisfaction.

"Is it hot out here, or is it just Jean?

Sasha groaned, "That was the worst line when you used it on me, and it's still the worst line four years later."

"And yet you still married me!"

Jean was suddenly glad that his face was already flushed from the scorching heat. He's not sure how much more of their charming behavior he can take. Yes, he found them charming. Beyond charming. They're hilarious individuals, but when you place them together you're sure to be entertained for hours. He's always found Sasha cute, but he's never thought about Connie that way until recently. Jean was trying to avoid them as much as possible, because he knew if they went on like this they'd have him right where they wanted him. And he's too much of a stubborn jackass to let that happen.

No. If he went down, he'd go down fighting.

He dug the weeds out forcefully.

"Come _on_, Kirschtein." Connie whined, "_Please_ just take your shirt off."

"Or don't." Sasha supplied, "You look good in sweaty clothes."

Oh that was _it_.

Without warning he yanked his shirt over his head, giving them a generous eyeful. Seeing as they were distracted by his impressive abdominals, he finally allowed himself to give them the once over as well. Or twice over. They…looked pretty good in sweat too. Sasha was drooling all over herself, but it was kind of endearing in a weird way. Connie dropped the shovel in his hands.

"Take me. Now."

Sasha raised her hand pathetically, "Me too."

* * *

Sasha groaned, brushing through her freshly washed hair. "Damn Levi." She cursed away to her husband, "All that accomplished was making me more sexually frustrated. It didn't help that he was so sweaty. Or that you were there as well. Shirtless. Both of you. Half naked. Right in front of me. Sweaty…"

"You're insatiable, aren't you?" Connie inquired, voice slightly muffled from stuffing his head in his pillow, "Need I remind you of our pre-shower activities?"

"No, moron, that would only get me more hot and bothered."

"Ah, my bad." He was smirking.

She hit him with her pillow, "Go to sleep."

"Mmkay."

Neither fell asleep. Sasha kept tossing and turning, and Connie was too distracted by her fussing to clear his head properly. After ten minutes of her dejected sighs and shuffling around on the bed, she finally spoke up.

"Connie?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you think we're…overwhelming him?"

Connie's brow furrowed. "What do you mean?"

"Well I'm sure if I were in his position, I'd be pretty overwhelmed by the both of us. We're a lot to handle, you know."

"I know."

"Should we…?"

"Approach him…individually?"

"Yeah, ease him into it. He knows we're a package deal. If he falls for one of us, he's bound to fall for the other."

Connie tensed, suddenly coming to a realization. "Did _we_ fall for him?"

Sasha was silent, but she rolled over so that she could wrap her arms around his waist and let her head fall on his chest. "I care about him a lot. Way more than just a comrade."

He wrapped his arm around her, rubbing her shoulders gently, "Me too."

* * *

Things were so boring without Sasha. And for the life of him, he could not find Jean anywhere. He searched all of HQ. Twice. Checked the stables, asked everyone he ran into if they'd seen the jackass. Mikasa, Eren and Armin each said the same thing – that they hadn't run into the bastard all day. It wasn't until he asked Levi that he learned that Jean had 3DMG'd himself onto the roof. So Connie 3DMG'd himself up there too.

"Jean?" He called.

"Yeah?" Connie followed his voice until he reached the two-tone haired man. His eyes were closed; it looked like he'd been napping.

"It's Connie."

He opened one eye for half a second before closing it again, "Hey Connie. Where's Sasha? You two are usually joined at the hip."

"Yeah, we pretty much are."

"You're like…soulmates or something. Perfect for each other, I swear."

Connie's ears perked up at that. He's pretty sure he's heard Jean say that before. He wondered…

"Hey if that's what's holding you back…Well it shouldn't. You're not going to come between us. We both want you."

Jean opened his eyes and chuckled, "I know that, dipshit. Like I said, you're inseparable."

"Is dipshit like a new pet name? Because you're doing the whole pet name thing wrong if it is." Jean ignored his poor attempt at humor and went back to lazing around underneath the shade the towers provided. Connie pouted, a little put out. Jean rolled his eyes and lifted his arm in silent invitation. "Aw, you want to cuddle?"

"Shut up, dipshit." He yanked on Connie's arm until he fell against Jean's chest.

* * *

And that's how Sasha found them. She too had a hard time finding Jean, but apparently her husband had gone missing as well. Levi told her they were on the roof, and when she flew up there with her 3DMG…this was sort of the last thing she expected. Jean was wide awake, and Connie was sleeping peacefully, head nuzzled into his neck and arms wrapped around the taller man's waist. Sasha nearly squealed at the sight.

Not wanting to wake up her husband, she crawled over to Jean on his other side and began to whisper to him.

"How long have you been up here?"

"I've been here a couple of hours. Connie's been here for maybe thirty-five minutes. He seems exhausted."

"Neither of us got much sleep last night." She hooked her arm through his while she talked quietly, "We were thinking too much. I think it was mostly my fault. I was completely restless, all my tossing and turning kept him awake. And then we started pondering the complexities of life."

"My ass included?"

Sasha laughed, the breathy kind when you're trying not to be loud. "Yeah your ass may have come up a few times. It's his absolute favorite topic of conversation. Well – your ass and my tits."

"You do have a nice rack, can't deny that."

Sasha blushed.

Jean reached out to take her hand, intertwining their fingers. "I'm completely screwed, you know that? You're both just too charming for your own damn good. And I'm just not. I don't believe that I could come between you two, but I'm pretty damn scared that you'll get bored of me. Or something." He blew out a puff of air and Sasha remained quiet, pleading with him silently to keep going. "I just…if this doesn't work out, you'll both still have each other. And I'll have nothing."

Sasha grabbed him by the back of the neck, forcing his head down until their lips met. It was soft and comforting, and Jean melted at the contact. She pulled back after a few moments and looked him dead in the eye.

"Even if this doesn't work out, we will not abandon you." She spoke with so much conviction, it would have knocked Jean off his feet were he standing, "You can always confide in us, we will always comfort you – the same we'd do for any of our comrades. But you're not just a comrade. You're our friend. But you're not even just that, because we also happen to care about you deeply."

"Somehow you've managed to make me care about you too."

"Mmm does this mean we get to take you to bed now?" A groggy voice mumbled. Sasha and Jean glanced at Connie with affectionate grins.

"I think you're too tired to take me anywhere."

"Bring it." The challenge was halfhearted and Jean is pretty sure he fell back asleep already.

"Let's get him tucked into a real bed. He gets grumpy when he doesn't sleep with his pillow."

Jean nodded. Sasha let go of him and stood up slowly. Jean carefully pulled Connie into his arms and stood up as well. They maneuvered themselves to the ground and shuffled through the halls until they stood outside of Sasha and Connie's room. Sasha opened the door and strolled in, Jean following with Connie. He set the shorter man on the bed tenderly, pulling the blankets over him until they came to his chin. Sasha climbed in with him. As Jean shuffled back to leave, still a bit uncertain about everything, Sasha grabbed his wrist and forced him onto the bed in between them. Connie nuzzled into his side, and Sasha wrapped an arm around his shoulders until his head fell into her neck. They fell asleep like that.

* * *

Eventually he woke up to muffled whispering from the other side of the room. Curious, he kept his eyes shut to keep up the façade of sleep.

"Good heavens, good _heavens_," It sounded like Sasha, "He's in our bed. Connie, he's _actually_ in our bed. I don't think I can contain myself. He _likes_ us. What a goddamn cutie pie. I absolutely have to get a taste of that."

"Be smooth, Sash." Connie interjected, "He's right where we want him, we can't screw this up now." A moment of silence. "Oh my god, look at him. He's cuddling up to your pillow. Sina, the blanket isn't wrapped around him, _he's_ wrapped around the blanket. He might be a thousand times more attractive when he's sleeping."

"How can that even be possible?"

"I have no fucking clue."

There was more silence, thick enough that Jean contemplated revealing to them that he was awake. But Sasha intervened with a soft voice; Jean had to strain his ears to hear.

"He thinks we'll get bored of him." She sounded almost fond, "It's rather silly, don't you think? I mean, when I stop to think back on the aftermath of Trost…and we were deciding which branch of military to join…Jean was the one that inspired both of us to join the Scouts. As a twelve-year-old he was dead set on the Military Police; not much had even changed when we were fifteen. When he realized that his fear of the Titans could be put to use against them…"

"We've been following him since we were fifteen, haven't we?"

"Yeah. We came together along the way, but I think Jean was always meant to be here with us."

Connie gave a grunt of agreement.

That's when Jean decided to reveal himself, "You two are the sappiest shits I've ever met."

They jumped, turning to him with wide eyes.

"You were awake?" Sasha asked, standing up from the chair she'd been lounging in. Jean shifted so that he was sitting up, one leg extended and the other bent for him to rest his arm against. His breath was rough from sleep, and he knew that his hair was probably a mess. But they were still looking at him like they wanted him.

He smiled, "Even when you try to be quiet, you're loud."

Connie laughed, "You should see Sasha in bed!"

"I should."

Those two words had them all tensing up. The atmosphere in the room had suddenly changed. The three of them were frozen, staring at each other with dark, lustful eyes. Sasha was reminded of the way wild animals stalk their prey, stance set until the moment they're ready to pounce. It was Connie who made the first move. He practically leapt across the room onto the bed, straddling one of Jeans legs in no time. How courteous, that he'd leave another leg open for Sasha to mirror his movements. Jean was left blinking up at two of his comrades, each holding one of his legs between their thighs.

"Don't _say_ things like that, Kirschtein." Connie muttered before pulling Jeans head up into a kiss. Sasha watched, hypnotized by the sight. It wasn't until she felt Jean's hands gripping at her shirt that she made her own move, latching her mouth to his neck and sucking.

"Sina," Jean moaned, groping at their bodies with trembling hands. He watched, transfixed, as they pulled away only to lock lips with each other. Giving him quite the view as Connie's tongue traced the outline of her lips. With a knowing look, they averted their attention back to Jean and both claimed his lips at the same time. It was awkward and messy, but it was also perfect.

Sasha growled, pulling back, "We're taking you to bed now, Kirschtein."

Connie groaned into the two-toned haired man's ear, "See that, Jean?" Jean nodded, a little more than stupefied as he stared up at Sasha. "She doesn't believe me when I tell her she's the sexiest. Care to help me convince her?" Seeing as he somehow lost his ability to speak, an amazing feat considering how much of a loudmouth he is, he could only nod as they flipped her over and began tearing her apart with their hands and mouths until she was a moaning mess.

Yes, they had him right where they wanted. The thing was, he was more than glad to be there.

* * *

**A/N: I have nothing to say about this other than I am sorry**


End file.
